How-To: Self-Acceptance

What is self-acceptance?

Self-acceptance is the consent to be you, without any judgment or fighting what is. It means knowing that we are who we are and that we are worthy of love, pleasure, joy, and respect.

The error

We think that we can only change if we are hard on ourselves and that self-acceptance means that we will actually let ourselves and our habits get worse.

The steps:

  1. Let go of your subjective narrative and the story you tell yourself (e.g. “I can only accept myself once I have stopped/started XYC.”)
  2. See yourself with a beginner’s mind as if you don’t know anything about yourself or your past.
  3. Stop clinging to things to be different.


“For right now, this is the way I am.”

“I only have control over this present moment, not the past, and not the future.”

“I will have faults, bad days, and will struggle for as long as I have a pulse.”


We, as humans, must allow ourselves to be human. We have to now that we are doing the best we can with what we have.

Source: Kimberley Quinlan, Marriage and Family Therapist

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