1. Speak No Ill
People react very badly to criticism; don’t do it, even if you mean well. If you don’t have to say something good, don’t say anything at all. Especially not behind their back.
Express appreciation and gratefulness for actions from others, no matter how small. Say “thank you”. People yearn to be appreciated.
3. Arouse & Support
Talk about what people want and then help them get it.
Try to remember the things that are important to them, including their name. Use it when talking to them. A person’s name sounds beautiful to them.
Encourage them to talk about themselves and their interests. Every person you meet feels superior to you in some way. Find out what that is and recognize their importance. Talk to people about themselves and they will listen to you for hours.
6. Don’t argue
Give in. Agree that the other person is right; often they are and if they aren’t, you’ll rarely convince them of it. Telling them they are wrong is counterproductive. Try to emphasize areas of agreement.
If you know you’re wrong, admit it. Always leave the possibility open that you’re wrong even if you think you aren’t. Let your friends be better than you and let them take credit for your ideas.
8. Be still
Let the other person do most of the talking. Listen patiently and don’t interrupt (see my post on this topic here).
9. See it with their eyes
Think in terms of the other person’s point of view. People will like your ideas a lot more if they believe them to be their own.
10. Tell Stories
Don’t use logic; tell stories. Make your ideas visible. Bear in mind that people don’t understand until you give them an image in their head that show them what you mean.